Sunday, December 09, 2007

10:40 A.M.

I got this uncomfortable feeling around 10:40 this morning as I was driving to church. I was on the edge of a rather militant little mood. I've been vacillating between that and sheer fear for about a week now. Fear's been winning, but I'm betting the odds are in my favor somewhere between sheer fear and militant there is a place where I can rest a moment while I figure things out. One can at least hope.

I made a decision a couple years back on what I did not want to do for a living for the rest of my life. I was rather adamant about it and it made perfect sense to me (still does). I had come to the conclusion that I needed more depth to my skill set, that I had let myself become to narrowly defined in a very specific niche that was not going to provide me with increased earning potential. I also wanted to position myself to have alternatives in the next down cycle of the economy. Not to mention, I just didn't want to do it anymore. That seemed perfectly reasonable to me (still does).

Now, it would have helped tremendously if I'd had a clue what I was going to do next. I knew I was smart, worked hard and had any number of other admirable attributes that make for a very good employee as well as innate and intangible qualities galore. Well, it's been a very interesting journey and if it wasn't my life, it would perhaps make for a nice little story in a Po Bronson book. But, it is my life and much to my surprise it isn't going exactly like I thought it would by now. I read all the books on careers, career transitions, job searches, being your best self and knowing yourself. I took the tests and assessments too. There were classes and seminars and informational interviews as well. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I was kinda holding out for an epiphany. Truly, I thought I would have one and when I didn't - well, let's just say it took a long while to get over the need for an outcome around that one.

Anyhow, I digress, back to the uncomfortable feeling - it came with this thought - Damn, I'm going to have to define for myself what a 21st century feminist is and I'm going to have to become my very own version of one or something close at least. Here's how I got there. I was reading about women who have started their own businesses and are working toward economic independence at When I came across this little tidbit from The National Foundation for Women Business Owners:
55% of women provide half or more of their household's income, yet 48 million women - that is 80% of all women in the workforce - earn less than $25,000 a year.
Think about it. It's enough to make you have a militant moment too!

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