Sunday, November 25, 2007

20 Minutes

That's my goal - 20 minutes of meditating twice a day - every day. When I decided to make a commitment to this goal a couple of weeks or so ago, I had to drag myself kicking and screaming to the chair and sit my happy self down (okay, not so much happy) and all but tie myself to the chair (now, that would have been a real trick). I've attempted this in fits and starts over the last few years. I took a six week class and at one point worked with a meditation teacher. I'd read his book, Build a Better Buddha: The Guide to Remaking Yourself Exactly As You Are. It's a very thorough, although dense book. He fired me for being a dabbler, for not developing a consistent and regular practice. Rightly so, I wasn't ready to make a commitment at that time. The work with him though helped tremendously in the short-term in letting go of fear and calming down. There was an insight in being aware of thought and bringing attention back to the breath that made a hugh difference as well as understanding that thoughts, feelings, physical and perceptual are the four distractions when meditating. Now as I've started again, I can tell a difference when I start my day with some time just breathing and when I do it again later in the day. I haven't made it to twenty minutes consistently yet, but I have done it more than I haven't which is progress. The question then is, if I know it makes a difference, why don't I? Back again to that little matter of choice.

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